Living with mental illness
My adventures in living with mental illness; namely Bipolar II disorder, PTSD, and trichotillomania.
“Lately, I feel like a drama queen,” I said to one of my friends over Facebook messenger. “Uh. No. No no no. You are not a drama queen. Good grief,” she said to me. “You are going through some shit. It’s ok to go through shit and ask for help and not be ok all the time.” “Thank you,” I said, “I suppose you’re right.” “You acted ‘ok’ for a LONG time,” she said.
Read MoreThere is still a lot of stigma attached to mental illness and we need to do something about it. Stigma is the reason that I’m here, sharing my story. My story is an invitation. It’s an invitation to let go of some of your preconceived notions about mental illness and here what it’s really like…at least from one person…from me. Because, my hope is, every time we hear real stories about mental illness it chips away at its stigma. It chips away at that relative you have with a mental illness being dismissively called crazy. It chips away at someone who’s experiencing mood swings being flippantly called bipolar. It chips away at the fear, the unknowing, and the lack of understanding.
Read MoreI was having a conversation the other day with a friend of mine that kind of jolted me. She told me she was trying to focus on loving her body. It was so simple a statement that made me realize I’m in the middle of having a hard time loving mine.
Read MoreRecently, a friend told me something I didn’t know about jellyfish: that certain types of jellyfish are responsible for bringing little bits of nutrients from the depths of the seas all the way up to the surface of the water. They deposit bits of those nutrients as they push their way upward, contributing nibbles for all sorts of creatures in the ecosystem. When I heard this, I immediately thought of how this can be a metaphor for our lives, and dealing with trauma.
Read More"I just want you to be happy." How many times have I heard that said in a well-meaning-yet-stinging way? It stings like rubbing alcohol on the open wound that is my mental illness. Yes, I want to be happy, too, but I don't just want to be happy. I want so much more than to be happy.
Read MoreI’m interrupting my normal blogging schedule to participate in the “Blogging From A to Z Challenge” for the month of April. While I've missed the official sign-up, I've decided to do it anyway. Each day (except for Sunday) I’ll be posting based on a different letter of the alphabet…starting with A, ending with Z, of course. Each post will continue on the theme of dealing with my own mental illness trials and tribulations, keeping with the theme of this blog. I just found out about this challenge yesterday, so I have some catching up to do. Not sure if this counts under the official “rules”, but here are my entries catching up to today’s current challenge (G). So, here it goes: A to G.
Read MoreMy life is a house. The basics are its foundation. Self-soothing: the windows and doors. And a strong community of people is what makes up the walls and roof of my house. Without that community, I would be exposed to the elements…not able to last very long on my own. But I have people that support me that make my house a home.
Read MoreLast week, I used the analogy of my life as a house, and talked about ten basics that make up its foundation. If those basics are the foundation, then self-soothing can be seen as the windows and doors to my house. When I’m anxious or afraid, I’m closed off to the world — windows and doors shut. When I’m able to self-soothe, those windows and doors are able to open.
Read MoreLast week, I talked about the three factors that brought me to a place of joy and, more importantly, emotional regulation: taking care of my basic needs, learning self-soothing techniques, and community. This week, I’m going to to talk about taking care of the basics: the foundation of living a stable and healthy life.
Read MoreTwo weeks ago, I wrote about joy, and how much of a new, strange feeling it was after living with depression and anxiety (etc.) for so long. I talked about how I felt the most alive I’ve ever felt in who-knows-how-long. But are all my days filled with joy now? No. Am I always filled with contentment and happiness? Certainly not. But that was never my goal in getting treatment. The goal was not to replace all the bad feelings with good feelings and be stuck in that shiny-happy place forever, but to feel the appropriate feelings at the appropriate times.
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